Friday, August 28, 2015

c h i r o c l i n i c

It's incredible how much work goes into starting a business.  I am currently reading a marketing manual, hints this post.  It can be quite overwhelming to consider the numerous aspects of a business plan.  It's one thing to have a big idea, it's a whole different horse to lay it out on paper.  This coffee shop, the one that inspired my last post in which I am visiting again today, has been the source of much encouragement and creativity since I stepped in the door.  I thank my friend Patrick for making us come here.  Patrick spoke lots of wisdom to us about business.  I want to begin putting our ideas on paper, but it's just so hard to start.  It is the time though.  Christopher graduates in June of 2016.  We will probably open our practice in 2017 or 2018.  That is soon!

Any suggestions for where to start?

Also, we bought a house this morning!

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

i n s p i r a t i o n s from methodical coffee

I've been told that until you hit thirty, life is ever-changing.  Each year is dramatically different for me.  I value it.  I'm hesitant for the next five years to pass.  The hard times, many that they are, mold me into such a beautiful person of the Father's heart.  It need not be said that I have quirks like the rest of humanity, but let it be said that the good attributes are good.  As I age, I understand that to love people, it's pertinent to focus on the lovely parts.  It's how I wish to be loved and it's how I prefer to love.  The way of love is that which accepts the bad with the good and encourages the good over the bad.  I am constantly working on bettering myself, but I am highly aware that there are attributes of my personality that are offensive to other personalities.  It is important to be aware and willing to change these.  It is important as human beings to be ever-changing, not accepting of the way you are.  The older I get, the more aware of my interactions I desire to be.

I love the Father's heart, so deeply.  It's lovely that I get to have one just like his.

Friday, February 27, 2015

R e v W i l b u r B W e b b

I've been thumbing through my grandfather's books the past couple of days.  He was a pastor and seemingly an historian [based on the books he annotated the daylights out of].  Anyway, he is the person I have looked up to most in my life, and also had to keep a close reign on the magnitude of my idolization for him.

I read a few excerpts in The Touch of the Master's Hand by Charles Allen today.  Several things spoke to me, but I wanted to share the first thing I read in it.  I'd never heard this before but saw such beauty in it.

This is discussing the miracle of the woman who touched the hem of Jesus's garment, Mark 5:25-34:

The Touch that Heals
"'Daughter, they faith hath made thee whole.' said Jesus.  That is the only time Jesus ever used the term 'daughter' in addressing another person.  As you read the New Testament, you are impressed with the tenderness He expressed so often toward those in need.  He was always kind and gentle toward those who sought His help.  But toward one person He seemed to feel a loving sympathy that He never felt toward any other. 'Daughter,' He said, just that one time."

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

2 4 F e b 1 5

It's snowing outside and the trees are full of white.  The sparrow at the base of the tree in the front yard is throwing leaves and twigs behind it - in hopes of what? Do they build, or just organize? 

It's minimal, in many eyes, this white dust that's covering the ground.  But to a woman raised in central Mississippi, it's highly unfamiliar.  The weim agrees. 

This time, my favorite is the lightly covered tree limbs of the evergreens.  You'll only see this in snow.  No other season holds that place.

The man of this house, the one with the sparrow in the front yard, is away today.  Learning to be a doctor in the sickest country of the world.  His spirit is here, always.  I adore him.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

/ / a n s l e y / /

One day this past week, I was hanging out with my boss's four year old at work.  She was sitting right beside me watching Strawberry Shortcake while I attempted to get some things done.  After a long night, and many snacks [on her end], she was feeling pretty tired.  She had her head propped on her arms on the desk watching the show.  After a really abrupt [somewhat of an] outburst happened from a patient, she looked over at me and said in the sweetest voice, "I love you Erin".  I wish I had it recorded it was that sweet.  But the sweetest part of it was that I didn't feel like it was from her when it happened.  I couldn't explain it until I processed it later, but I feel like it was from the Lord.  She isn't a very sentimental child and hasn't ever said anything remotely close to that to me.
The Father has been so sweet to me lately, and I love it.
And the innocence of children is one of my weaknesses in life.

Friday, February 20, 2015

/ / p h o t o s / /

I went through a ton of old photos this morning.  I was separating them into folders so I can eventually make photo books with them.  It was quite entertaining to see the ones from when we were dating.


Tuesday, January 27, 2015

u n t i t l e d

I've been thinking on this post for a while and still have no words to do it justice; but I've wanted to write it because this blog is my little space in the world that I like to nurture, and I believe being open allows for healthy grief to have its place.  Just a warning, this may be too much information for some people.

Three weeks ago Saturday we went for a short hike by our house.  After the hike I notice I was spotting; my heart sank.  I was seven weeks pregnant.  We did some research and found out that it could be normal if it stayed brown, so I kept a close eye on it.  After about a week, it got worse and turned red.  It was my worst nightmare.

I attempted to prepare myself for losing a child; the grief became so heavy - but it's a different kind of grief than anything I've ever known.  It's not that I felt responsible because I didn't, it's the sole fact of how truly sad it is that the child lost its life.  I did all I could to prepare for this child.  Since May of 2014 I ate a strict tradition tribal diet with all soaked grains and nuts, fermented foods, raw dairy, full fat foods.  I exercised almost religiously.  I prayed and prepared my heart and mind.  These things are all great and I'm so thankful I have them under my belt; but this miscarriage, I feel, was inevitable.  I was told by many people that the first time many women get pregnant, there's a chromosomal abnormality that happens in the child.  The body sees that it would be too severe to go through with having the baby so it gets rid of it.  Although I don't know for sure, I am assuming this is the case with ours.  Our midwife told us that miscarriages have always been very common, but it hasn't been proven until recently because we are able to find out we're pregnant so early with tests.  Women used to just think they had skipped a period then had a heavy one the next month.  (Although I would think something was seriously wrong if I had a period that acted like that miscarriage.)

We decided we wanted to do everything naturally, so inevitably, that means a natural miscarriage.  There's no way to be prepared for this, but I tried to at least prepare my mind for what would happen.  So last Wednesday, I was at work and I started to get very bad cramps, which I know now to be contractions.  I tried to hold out and stay at work, but the pain was too severe and I was afraid that if I waited then I wouldn't be able to drive home.  So I left (on my forty minute drive, mind you).  I believe the Lord drove me home because there is no way I could have made it alone.  The whole way, my legs were locked up, my arms were going numb, and I was lightheaded.  I got home, almost fell to the ground when I stood, ran in, and had the miscarriage immediately.  I was so thankful I was home and not at work.  Although the miscarriage came easy, the contractions lasted about ten hours.  It was the worst pain I have ever experienced; I became highly aware that the feeling I was feeling was the curse of mankind.  Chris came home immediately and was an angel through the whole thing.  He has done so much for me this past week, I feel like I could never thank him enough.  He is so strong.  The contractions lasted until about 2am then I finally got some rest.  I only work part time now, so every minute is crucial to be at work for me.  I got up the next morning and decided I could do it - slowly, but I could.  So I went to my hair appointment then to work.  I had cramping for two days after the contractions stopped.  The past three days, I have had an immense amount of soreness in my organs.  I'm trying to rest as much as I can.

The worst (and best I suppose) part of it all was seeing the child.  I'm glad I did because I believe it brings proper grief, but it does ensure a flood of emotion that comes and goes without warning.  I have the least to say about this part of the process; I guess I'm still speechless from it.  We wanted to honor it, so we thought long and hard about how we wanted to do that.  This past Sunday, we took it out to some woods near our house and we buried it by the river.  It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but it was a sweet moment too.

When we were walking away, Chris and I hugged, and my mind became flooded with all the memories we have shared over the past seven years or so.  I was brought back to high school and how attractive I thought he was, I went back to when we became best friends, then dating, then marriage, and now this.  I'm so thankful for all we have been through together and all that is in our future.  Marriage is such a beautiful and wonderful gift from God.

Like I said, I believe this post is important for me if not for anyone else.  I know it's personal and somewhat detailed, but I'm glad I wrote it and I'm glad this process is coming to a close physically.  The Lord is so good.  He is my husband, my best friend, lovely.  I'm so thankful our child is with him instead of us.

Today is Alexander's birthday :)