Wednesday, May 16, 2012

engagement photos

I know I'm not supposed to apologize on here, but I do want to let you lovely readers know that although graduation is over, the wedding is not.  Meaning I have not found much to write about because my time is consumed with wedding planning and of course Alexander ;)  However! Our engagement pictures were just posted on facebook, so I want to share a few! :)















Thank you A + A!

Friday, May 4, 2012

Mumford

Whew..

So I just drove home from school to take care of Alexander and also for our engagement photo session tomorrow.

I haven't listened to Mumford & Sons in a seriously long time.  Well, I put them on for the ride home, and honestly didn't think I would even listen to but one song.  I just came across them while thumbing through my ipod and thought I would put them on for memories' sake.  Wrong.

The ENTIRE ride home was like I had just entered into the heart of Jesus to take a seat and have a cup of coffee while he explained to me what all was going on inside of it.

I have to share with you guys some of the lyrics that brought revelation and love into my car this afternoon.  I was literally brought to tears multiple times.  I hope the Lord speaks these lyrics to you in the same way he spoke to me. 
I am literally just drenched in the love of Jesus.  I don't even know what to do with it right now.


-----
Roll away your stone, I'll roll away mine.  Together we can see what's inside.  Don't leave me alone at this time, for I'm afraid of what I will discover inside.  You told me that I would find a hole, within the fragile substance of my soul.  And I have filled this void with things unreal, and all the while my character it steals.

Darkness is a harsh term don't you think?
And yet it dominates the things I seek.

It seems that all my bridges have been burned, but you say that's exactly how this grace thing works.
It's not the long walk home that will change this heart, but the welcome I receive with the restart.
-----
But it was not your fault but mine, and it was your heart on the line.
I really screwed it up this time.  Didn't I, my dear?
 
*"Your heart" meaning the Father's.  ...Yeah.  It hit me in the chest pretty hard too.
-----
How can you say that your truth is better than ours?
Shoulder to shoulder, now brother, we carry no arms.
 
But you rip it from my hands, and you swear it's all gone.
And you rip out all I have just to say that you've won.
 
*"we" meaning the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  Yep.  And he calls us "brother"...whew..
*We rip truth from him.  We rip grace from him.  Then we wonder why it never works out.  He gives freely, so there's no need to snatch it then blame it on him when what you did doesn't work out.
-----
Cold is the water.  It freezes your already cold mind.
And death is at your doorstep, and it will steal your innocence, but it will not steal your substance.

But you are not alone in this, and you are not alone in this.
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand.  Hold your hand.
 
*"brothers" again meaning us and Jesus.  Heirs.
-----
I can't promise you that I wont let you down.  And I cant promise you that I will be the only one around when your hope falls down.
But we're young, open flowers in the windy fields of this war-torn world.
And love.
This city breathes the plague of loving things more than their creators.

I ran away.  I could not take the burden of both me and you.  It was too fast.  Casting love on me as if it were a spell I could not break, when it was a promise I could not make.

But what if I was wrong?

But hold on to what you believe in the light, when the darkness has robbed you of all your sight,

And now this land means less and less to me, without you breathing through its trees.
At every turn, the water runs away from me and the halo disappears.
And the hole when you're not near.

So what if I was wrong?
-----
And after the storm, I run and run as the rains come.
And I look up, I look up, on my knees and out of luck, I look up.

Night has always pushed up day.  You must know life to see decay.  But I won't rot, I won't rot.  Not this mind and not this heart, I won't rot.

And I took you by the hand, and we stood tall, and remembered our own land, what we lived for.
And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there, 
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And now I cling to what I knew.  I saw exactly what was true.  But oh no more.
That's why I hold,
That's why I hold with all I have.
That's why I hold.

And I will die alone and be left there. Well I guess I'll just go home, Oh God knows where. Because death is just so full and man so small.  Well I'm scared of what's behind and what's before.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.
 
*This one... whew...
-----
I begged you to hear me, there's more than flesh and bones.  Let the dead bury the dead, they will come out in droves.  But take the spade from my hands and fill in the holes you've made.

But plant your hope with good seeds.  Don't cover yourself with thistle and weeds.  Rain down, rain down on me.
-----
There will come a time I will look in your eye.
And you will pray to the God that you always denied.
 
*This one hit me like a ton of bricks.  I'm upset when just one person denies me or doesn't like me a little.  Can you imagine how the Father feels?  To love everyone SO MUCH, and so many turn their back day in and day out - never look back to him.  Ugh!  It kills my heart just to think of it.  I can't imagine the pain it causes him.  Tears just well up in my eyes..
-----
 
 
I've got nothing else to say.  I'm overwhelmed just looking at these words.
 
Love. 

 
 

Thursday, May 3, 2012