marriage.

I really all the time just want to write about the deep stuff going on in my life.  I've been thinking all night, and as I wrote the first blog, about why I haven't written about more personal and spiritual matters.  My conclusion was lacking.  I've never really mastered the art of documenting my life day by day, as you can probably see.  I suppose I'm just still figuring out what a blog actually is, as well as how to make mine my own. I love to write.  However, I can only write about the things I am passionate about. 
So, what I have realized concerning the blog world tonight:
a. I'm really bad at being anyone other than myself; so documenting my day to day life probably won't happen anymore - I don't care about that enough.
b. I love to write; so let me share my heart.
c. I still love how much this blog has encouraged me to use my camera more, so I'll try to work that in somehow.
The hardest part about this blog is figuring out how I want to use it in my life. Bear with me; I'm learning. :)

To be honest, marriage has been the number one topic of thought in my mind this week.  I'm not the kind of girl to pursue thoughts of marriage and I never have been.  But right now, I feel it in my heart.  It's been such an amazing adventure with Chris these past almost eight months.  I never knew I could learn so much in such a short amount of time.  The Lord has been so good to us.  The Lord has spoken so much to me and to the both of us while we have been dating.  The most important thing, which was revealed to us before we started dating, praise the Lord, is to seek Him alone.  Chris is only a gift to me.  He is not in my life to fulfill all my needs and desires; he is simply a blessing to me.  He is a pleasure to be around - especially so often.  We know that we are here on this earth to seek the Lord with all that we are, so that is what we are trying to do - individually for now.  The Lord has been teaching me about himself and about myself for quite sometime.  Christopher reinforces the word of the Lord and encourages me in so many ways.  He is a wonderful leader for me, and the credit is the Lord's.  I don't, by any means, intend to speak as though we have it all figured out and we live our lives wholeheartedly for Christ at every moment.  We definitely have struggles, but praise the Lord that they have made us stronger in Him.  I never knew relationships could be like this, but it makes me so excited for marriage.  I learn more and more what love is and what love looks like everyday - mainly from my Lord.  I want to understand how much of a blessing it is to share my life with someone I love so much.  I'm in no rush to tie the knot, but I am very excited for that stage in my life.  I put my hope in the Lord and I put my trust in the Lord.  He will continue to show me His ways and what a joy it will be.  The Lord is my Love. He is my Rock and my Redeemer.  He is my Joy and my Peace. My Healer. My Husband.  I am excited about marriage on this earth, but nothing can compare to this relationship and marriage I have with my Lord.  He is all I need.  He is my soul's desire. My Beloved.